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{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }

Kevin Orton August 12, 2008 at 9:55 am

I hope you find some peace in all this effort.
Love of family or whatever motivates you is a powerful thing….I experienced some of that while I took care of my mom and dad during their last days. Cleaning your father’s backside after a bathroom break really brings you full circle! I hope somehow that this marathon brings you some level of joy.

Kevin

Kat August 12, 2008 at 10:44 am

Thank you so much for sharing the events of your days in powerful prose. The little challenges of my life (which had brought me to tears this morning) have faded in significance as I contemplate your willing sacrifices. I appreciate the candor and the self-reflection of your posts. You have helped another person today — me.

LD August 12, 2008 at 11:56 am

I have just lost my grandfather after a long battle with parkinson’s and dementia. I had missed him terribly when his mind could not form the sentences to talk with me and to share in my life and my family. I was lucky to have him with me for a good portion of my adult life. Your posts move me more than words can say. While we had a live in aide for my grandfather, who gave him the dignity and independence he deserved everyday, my family coud not give this loving care everyday by ourselves. We saw my grandfather at least a few times each month, and my mother every day that should could, but your dedication is beyond words. I can only hope that your grandpa is at peace in his head and knows the love you have given him when the time comes.

Ellie Cortez August 12, 2008 at 4:14 pm

Your blog was forwarded to me by one of my supervisors at the Home Care Referral Registry. I am a Coordinator for Caregivers and Clients and hear many stories similar to yours. I live in Wa State now, but am originally from Elmira, N.Y. Our High School used to be big rivals with Binghamton!!!!
My husband and I moved to Indiana for 5 years to help care for my parents (my Mom had Alzheimers). Your approach is what we learned with time……anticipate, react, laugh and love, but most of all ….respect. It is the hardest job we ever had, but we have gained so much as a result. Wish you had more help and support in your daily life, but if prayers will help, they are yours.
With much aloha, Ellie Carpenter Cortez

Jane Deal August 14, 2008 at 5:06 pm

I read about your blog in Jane Gross’s online article from the NYT. There are so many of us who are doing what you are doing but most of us are the children of what Tom Brokaw called The Greatest Generation — not the grandchild. I really admire you and please remember that you are storing up treasure in Heaven as you provide the loving care for your grandparents. My husband and I are 57 and we closed our house about a year ago to move to my mother’s home to live with her and keep her out of a nursing home. She is 92 and seems to be doing better with us here than she has done in years. I’m glad you have a good strong back-up system in your family members nearby and that you have made arrangements for a regular day off every week. Don’t forget to take care of yourself with regular preventative maintenance doctor’s and dentist’s appointments. Try to eat the right foods and take vitamins and get some regular exercise and rest (whenever possible). If you are like us, it is hard some days and you are tired every day but you wouldn’t give up caring for them if you had the chance. When I go to bed at night, I think it has a good day if the three of us are relatively happy and healthy. You are learning lots of valuable life lessons at an early age and you will be wiser than your years. And you will treasure this time with them for the rest of your life. God bless all of you.

Anne Kelly Doyle August 18, 2008 at 8:59 am

hi Mr Purdy

I hope today or even last night was a good one for you , I stumbled on your blog I have never written to anyone on line before life is always changing and us with it . I just want to wish you well in your roll caring for your Grandpa I never knew mine. I am in Dublin Ireland where we are soaked in rain but who cares its only weather !

best wishes

anne

royee August 18, 2008 at 8:09 pm

Wow…what an amazing and gifted writer you are. And, what an emotionally wrenching topic. In retrospect, this may be one of the ‘best’ times of your life, because it puts you so in touch with life, otherwise elusive.

Thank you for sharing, for being there for your grandfather, and for taking this journey of caregiving.

Sara Baker August 25, 2008 at 6:10 pm

Rundy,
I also found your blog through the NYtimes blog. I read your story and honestly, felt like you were my kindred spirit. I am also a young caregiver, to my mom, who had a massive stroke nearly a year ago. Please, if you have time, I would love for you to read my story.
http://caregiversupport.wordpress.com
and thank you too for sharing your experiences.
~Sara

Pam November 8, 2008 at 11:52 pm

Rundy,
Are you managing to hang in there, dude? I keep you in my prayerful thoughts. It’s been so long since you’ve posted anything that many of of worry about your well-being, as well as Grandpa’s. Those of us who share your path, providing care for a beloved elder, are concerned.
Best Regards,
PR Kelley

Ann Marie Marciarille September 30, 2009 at 2:43 pm

Rundy,

Please accept my sincere sympathy on the loss of your beloved grandfather. I have read your blog with interest and include a link to it on a list of interesting web links for an Elder Law course here at McGeorge SOL.

May you never regret your generosity to your grandfather and to your readers.

All the best,

Ann Marie Marciarille

Rundy October 4, 2009 at 10:51 am

Ann –

Thank you for your comment, and your reference to this website. I hope the things I have written will be a help and encouragement to other people.

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